i am chosen and my name is Hephzibah.

so this morning, i was thinking of posting a new blog - since i have neglected to do so in quite a while. i prayed that God would lay something on my heart to say. and pretty much as soon as i decided to open my bible, he showed me this :

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." - Isaiah 41:10

ever since i began this journey with God, i've always been quite perplexed with the thought that God is always working on us - that we'll never be done. and lately, that thought has been a huge discouragement to me. Satan has twisted it in my head to be like, "See, you'll always be a failure. So why even try ?" but that is the enemy talking. it's in our brokenness that we find God, because that's when we need him the most. isaiah 41:10 is God comforting us. He's saying, "I am with you! Don't be discouraged! I will hold you up! I will help you!" My friend Hope said it like this, "It is hard to engage in something you can't finish, but that's why we need Him and His help and guidance. We can't do it on our own. Our life is a working testimony." if we were ever done being changed and fixed by God, there'd be no need for Him any longer. Our life is a working testimony - a testimony of His amazing power and love ! not a testimony of our strength (or lack there of), but of His.

as i began to dive into the whole chapter of Isaiah 41, i found more of what God wants to say in it. two verses earlier, it reads :

"But as for you, Israel my servant, Jacob my chosen one, descended from Abraham my friend, I have called you back from the ends of the earth, saying, 'You are my servant.' For I have chosen you and will not throw you away." - 41:8-9

not only does He want to communicate to not be afraid or discouraged, but before that He wants us to know that we are CHOSEN.

God chose you, and He will not leave you or forsake you. He will help you through the trials of life, and make you strong.

that is an incredible truth. God chose me. so even though i know He will never been done with me, i know he will help me along the way. He won't leave me. And He will hold me up with His "victorious right hand."

while writing this, God reminded me of another passage in Isaiah - Isaiah 62:3-5 :

"You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate, but you shall be called Hephzibah (My Delight is in Her), and your land Married, for the Lord delights in you, and your land shall be married. For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your sons marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over a bride, so shall your God rejoice over you."

i'll leave you with this : You are chosen. You will not be forsaken, so do not be afraid. He will uphold you in his hand, where you will be a crown of beauty. You are Hephzibah - He delights in you.

hallelujah ..

hello everyone !

i'm really excited i have a blog now. i've been wanting to start one for a while now, and tonight i was homework free and decided to take advantage of it ..

recently, i found God. and i don't mean like i got saved or something; i mean i found God. and here's my story ..

last semester i experienced a pretty substantial "desert" time in my life. i would pray some and try to get into the Word, but it was just.. dry. over thanksgiving break, i broke down. i finally realized how far i had wondered from God. and during the month of december, i slowly but surely began to open myself back up to God. at the first of the year, i began to feel like i was "back to normal" ..

on january 12th, i began a 21 day Daniel fast (no meats, no sweets, no dairy - essentially, a vegan diet). i heard a sermon at church on fasting and really felt like in my heart that God was challenging me to try it. i had been dealing with a lack of discipline and a weak heart lately, and figured fasting would be a huge help in getting over that. i began to read my bible more, pray more, and just be more focused on God himself and His purpose. however, little did i know, God still had so so much more to reveal to me.

this past weekend, i attended a "Girls Night" at church. national recording artist, beckah shae, was there. oh wow, she is aaaamazing. she is so real. she didn't hold back - she just worshiped God with her whole being. so freeee. she told her story of struggling with insecurity and not knowing who she was, and she would sporadically giggle all throughout her talk. she was so full of the Spirit that she couldn't help but laugh for joy. ahhh it was one of the most beautiful things to witness. while we were there, we wrote on these paper hearts all the lies Satan had told us. my card looked something like this :

"you suck. you'll never be anything - not an athlete, not an artist, not a musician. you're weak. you're lonely. God won't change your friends or family. that'll never happen, so don't even try. you're ugly. you're so alone. you're weird. you're not meant to know God like some of your other friends.." i could go on and on.

after an amazing time of worship where we all fell on our faces before the Lord, we nailed those cards to a wooden cross in front of the stage. it was so so powerful. ahh i can't even describe how truly present God was that night. at the end, we all got a chance to talk to Beckah. i walked up to her and she says, "are you an artist? do you draw and paint?" i melted right there. this woman did not know me. she prayed over me, but i barely remember what she said. i was just so overwhelmed. God spoke right through her. He told me who i was. i am an artist, created by the greatest artist of all.

hallelujah. the Holy Spirit has been so strong inside of me for the past few days because of that night. at church sunday night, i started busting out laughing in the middle of worship - just like Beckah had the night before. at school on monday, i was just so happy. for no reason except that i could feel God. nothing particularly good happened, but it didn't matter - i have the King of the Universe with me. circumstances no longer control me.

the Spirit is such an amazing gift that God has given us. if we can just be open to God, He'll come. oh yea, He'll come.

praise God.

"God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

- romans 5:5